April 28, 2005

       For those of you who don’t know me, I am Brian’s aunt, Aunt Melinda, or Auntie, as Brian called me. I was also his godmother, his friend, and, at times, his personal tour guide.

       Everyone here today knew Brian. Many of you knew him way better than I did. Let’s think about who he was…  Brian was a good man. Above all, he was kind and gentle. He adored his little sister.

       Brian loved to get into his car and go places. He loved to see new and cool things. I guess he inherited his adventurous spirit from his mother. Thanks to his mother, he got to go places like Disneyland as a child and Europe as an adult. At the age of 10 or 11, he flew by himself – on People’s Express – to New Jersey to spend a few days with me. He was scared to death, but also very excited and proud.

       Back in ’92 he came to visit me in London. There are two things I remember most about his experience in London: 1) He was simply enchanted with London Tower, and 2) after spending a whole day on his own wondering around London, he returned to my apartment very disappointed, claiming that he didn’t see a single good looking girl all day. I told him that he’d have to go back out and look a little harder – that there must be a least one cute one out there somewhere.

       Just a year ago, Brian visited me in Switzerland. As many of you know, he had the time of his life. While there, he took a trip to Amsterdam and another to Paris. He even spent a day skiing in the Alps.

       How could such a good man with such an adventurous spirit and so many rich experiences have ended his life this way? Over the past few days, I have asked myself over and over, “What did we miss? What could we have done that might have intercepted this? What if I had spent more time with him? What if I had followed through in trying to get him a job where I work?”

       There are no answers to these particular questions, or to yours. We cannot look back and fill our heads with “What if…” It serves no purpose to beat ourselves up for what we did or did not do in our relationship with Brian. We did the best we could at the time, and if we could have done better, we would have.

       Brian, wherever you are, we want you to know that we wish with all our hearts that we had heard your cry for help soon enough to have made a difference. We want you to know that we are still your family and friends. We love you. As long as we live, we will remember you and your gentle spirit.